Saturday, September 20, 2008


It's naptime here at the Adam & Tara household. They and their darling one year old daughter are taking a break from the world on this hot Phoenix afternoon, as they customarily do on the weekends and especially now that Tara is eight months pregnant. I, on the other hand, while quite drowsy, am the world's worst napper, and am busily clicking away on the computer. I've never been a good napper... for many reasons. I don't fall asleep quickly. Waking up is the worst part of my day, so I don't like having to do it twice. If I do nap, I don't find that I feel refreshed afterwards, just groggy. I'm not generally good at being present in the moment, so my mind does not know how to rest during typical waking hours. Plus, I don't know how my friends found the time or quiet for it in college, and ever since then I've either lived with roommates (how can you nap when there is so much going on around you?) or since living by myself recently I can't bear to sleep away weekend hours when there might be something social going on. I know that doesn't sound like the introvert that I am, but believe me I get plenty of alone time during the work week, both in my office and at home in my studio. Oh and when I come over to your house and occasionally find myself in the corner with your coffee table book or wandering off a few moments by myself if we're all shopping... I'm getting my alone time in then too. Anyway...

It's so serene here in Tara's house. It's so comfortable too; it's such a Home. Those that live here are family. They are all mutually adored and part of a team working towards their own common good. They delight in the new things learned and discovered every day by their little one. It's something I look forward to. It's hard to imagine myself being there, though I will greet that day whenever it may come with a warm welcome. For now, Tara is a mom to a darling little girl with another on the way and a wonderful husband who dotes on them and as a bonus loves cleaning. They own a lovely home and have both earned masters degrees. Now, she and I both started dating at around the same time, we both graduated high school in 2000, we both went off to liberal arts Christian colleges. And a few years later, as life played itself out for us, she is now how I have just described, and I am in an obviously quite different place. Unattached and living the bachelorette beach lifestyle in Santa Barbara. The night before I came out to visit here I dressed up and went out to a glitzy cocktail event at the museum and danced the night away afterwards. I (can choose to) spend my money on flying to visit friends and going on John Mayer cruises. I answer to no one for what I want to do and when. After graduating college this personal and financial freedom was newfound and quite glorious, and I still appreciate it very much. But I certainly don't believe I'm in my glory days, or that this is the lifestyle that means one is truly living up their mid-20s. It just happens to be Corinne's lifestyle. I accept that, advantages & disadvantages, and try to make the most of it. I believe Tara is doing the same with her lifestyle. We are both magnificently blessed, in similar and in significantly different ways.

I appreciate so much my friends that are in different places than me, and how they have been consistently faithful to our relationship; how we can discuss our life troubles with each other, different as they may be. Where you're at in life does not define you, it's who you are and the integrity of your life choices, and my friends remind me of this all the time.

Tara, thanks for having me.

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