Email today to the other American girl who will be in my masters program:
i'm sitting here at work, frozen and unable to be super productive because there is so much to do and so much on my mind. as i stress about where i'm storing all my stuff, if my passport will come, the parking ticket i got, if i can tie up all my loose ends at work, if i should get an oil change and how there's possibly time, all the goodbyes that are happening, and if i will be able to fit in a workout tonight...
i can only ground myself by knowing that there's scene coming, soon, which will be symbolic that the hard work over this last year was so amazingly worth it and that i've reached the top of this mountain that's called "grad school in sweden." i've been picturing it for a long long time.
a girl i know wrote about this one time here.
the scene that says you made it.
it's going to be after i've arrived in sweden...traveled down from stockholm...gotten all my stuff into the apartment... checked into lund university so they know i'm there...met the people in our program... bought a bike... and then
i'm going to ride that bike out of Lund and into the countryside of Skåne, and keep going. the days will still be long at this point since it will still be august, and so it will be a later evening ride because i want to chase the sunset. i did that one time in the netherlands, rode my bike into the sunset as far as i could, and it was one of the best days of my life. i know the day i do this in Sweden will be my "climactic scene," and also one of the best days of my life. i'll have finally made it. and it was all so very hard but so very worth it.
join me if you like... or at least let me know your scene, if you've pictured one... ;) we're going to be okay and it's all going to work out.
here's where that girl wrote about reaching that scene she'd written about long before.