Last night at around 11 I found myself walking alone for many blocks up State Street, all dressed up, and devouring a piece of pizza.
I'd just been at a fabulous museum event, with live music, bananas foster hors d'oeuvres, young and fun people all dressed up, outdoor dancing and more. I was with great friends and we laughed and gave toasts to the wonderful summer to come. We left hungry and went to our new favorite chic place for some appetizers and more fun.
Sitting there on the patio, I realized that all night I'd felt truly in the moment, excited to be right where I was. It was a relief. My goal at the beginning of the year was to work on doing exactly that, and avoid thinking too much about the next step or what could be different about the present. And I've been doing so well I surprised myself. Until the past couple weeks, when anxiety about the future came rushing in, stealing my sleep, edging out my gratefulness for where I am. It's been maddening. So last night was a welcome relief, a reminder that when my life is normal, nights like these are what it includes, with friends like these, and how lucky am I...
I decided I didn't need to celebrate my respite from worry with $16 lobster mac n' cheese. In fact, it would be nice to celebrate it, to soak in this gratefulness, alone. Maybe on a cool evening walk, with a cheaper snack, on the way to my cozy bed.
And so that's how I ended up in my high heels and fancy headband, heading the opposite way of most dressed up young folk walking on State, with my clutch under one arm and both hands dealing with the delicious slice of $3 veggie pizza from the hole-in-the-wall in Paseo Nuevo. Of course the worrying came back today, but I feel quite a bit better since that walk.