stand or fly

We sipped wine and the waves hit loudly against the nearby stretch of sand. Flames from the restaurant's heat lamp kept us warm in the cool evening breeze.

And we had a conversation so full of things we've discussed with other friends in different ways for the past few years...

what, where, who, why, when? how?

The topic that twenty-somethings return to again and again. Especially, I find, single twenty-somethings.

One of the questions that tugs the most can be the "who?" For my friend, it is at the forefront of her mind right now.

And I've been there. I will be again. It's not my question at the moment, but I have learned some valuable things during those times that it was and I know what to watch out for.

So I told her how it feels like when you know you're loved beyond doubt. When you can look at someone else and be incredulous together about your love. When they aren't afraid to talk about the future. When someone thinks you're the most interesting person they've ever met, and you think that about them. Or when they simply just don't want to let you go if you're lying down for a nap and you just need to get up for some water.

And she and I discussed together, what things do we need? What can we let go of? And when do you stop giving someone the benefit of the doubt and realize that they're just not that into you?

Is it too much to overcome if he's this way and I'm that way?

Regarding these questions, I think I've come a long way in figuring out the answer in many cases. Still have some learning to do.

I hope my friend, and the rest of my girls who have yet to find someone, can figure out their answers too.

"She kept asking if the stories were true and I kept asking her if it mattered and we finally gave up -- she was looking for a place to stand and I wanted a place to fly."
-Brian Andreas

Don't let yourself be tied to the ground if your wings are aching to catch the wind.