101

The other day a mother of one of my students called me a "go-getter". I almost laughed in her face.

I appreciated the compliment, but it definitely surprised me to be seen as such. A go-getter? Me? Nooooo... Go-getters are those friends that keep getting promotions in their made-for-them industries, the guy we know in town who worked for 12 years to get to the Olympics and finally did last summer, the type of guy I seem to go for as a counterpart to my dreamy, creative, lazy, mellow, and distinctly uncompetitive in the business world self.

At least, that's how I had defined go-getter. And the latter part of that paragraph is how I apparently am stuck seeing myself. I brought this up with a friend and before we talked about what go-getter was, she too said that she saw me as one. Well, I thought... should I expand my definition of myself? Online there are a few different definitions for this term, one of them, "a person whose career progresses rapidly" is certainly not me. But then the other two say "an intensely energetic, enthusiastic person" and "an enterprising person"... at times I could see myself in these ways. I would say that I'm scrappy... I've always known how to find situations that work out for me, like housing, social activities, jobs... I never languish in a void without any of those things or in any prolonged unhappiness. I climb vigorously out of such emptiness. I'm an oldest child and so from that I think comes some bossiness and leadership tendencies. I also work hard at balance, having a good amount of everything healthy and necessary in life. But I've always wished for more self-discipline, more follow-through, more drive, and the ability to get out of bed when the alarm actually goes off... more of what I lack that I can so easily pinpoint in others.

I always maintain that I am distinctly and abnormally self-aware. But I think I am quite aware of certain aspects of myself and not so aware of others. I know I am an INFP . I know I am more social (more E) and more organized (more J) than the average INFP. I am aware of all kinds of other personality and character attributes, positive and negative.

But recently I have learned more... including that by some I could be considered a go getter.

I've also been newly informed that I am a hand-talker. I was thoroughly surprised. Once someone brought it up a few others chimed in, saying, "Yeah! You do this one thing on the table with your nails for emphasis!" and "Oh and when you're telling a story you do this!" I have never thought of myself as an expressive conversationalist but apparently I can be, and have seen photos in the past couple months documenting it.

I've been challenged in new ways in the past few months in general, and am looking forward to seeing how a new way of seeing myself, knowing what I'm capable of that I was either unaware of or afraid of before, helps me move forward not only jobwise but most importantly in shaking every last bit of learning, fun, and love that I can out of my mid-twenties and beyond.

P.S. I realized after my last post that it was number 100. My hundredth blog post! Here's to many more...